


spinning

by glitch_writes



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), Alternate Universe - College/University, Angst with a Happy Ending, But mostly angst, Hanahaki Disease, Love Confessions, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-08
Updated: 2019-01-08
Packaged: 2019-10-06 18:41:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,147
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17350523
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/glitch_writes/pseuds/glitch_writes
Summary: It's strange to Takahiro - cruel, even - how the world keeps spinning when Shouyou's hurting over someone so deeply that his heart’s become like a rose bush, thorns tearing him up inside and petals choking him.





	spinning

**Author's Note:**

> For those unaware of Hanahaki disease, here's from [the fanlore wiki](https://fanlore.org/wiki/Hanahaki_Disease):
> 
> "Hanahaki Disease (花吐き病 (Japanese); 하나하키병 (Korean); 花吐病 (Chinese)) is a fictional disease in which the victim coughs up flower petals when they suffer from one-sided love. It ends when the beloved returns their feelings (romantic love only; strong friendship is not enough), or when the victim dies. It can be cured through surgical removal, but when the infection is removed, the victim's romantic feelings for their love also disappear." ... "Sometimes this also removes their memories of the former beloved."

Hanahaki disease… 

Takahiro’s heard about it before. Often as a play on his family name, a few jokes tossed back and forth if the subject was ever brought up back in high school. It’s only ever been a laugh to him.

He’s not laughing now. 

“Hinata-kun?”

The practice match on the other side of the court, the players on the benches chatting, the squeaks of sneakers and the screech of the ball cart and coach’s whistle - it all falls hollow to his ears. There’s so much going on around them, too much, fast and colorful and oblivious, but to him, it’s all worlds away. 

_ He’s _ worlds away. An outsider, forced to watch. Helpless. 

Helpless as Shouyou coughs up pink petals. 

“You alright?” is all he can manage to say as he looks at the petals in Shouyou’s palm dumbfoundedly. 

Shouyou stares at the the petals blankly; Shouyou’s miles away, too, Takahiro realizes - in his own little world where this isn’t happening. “Senpai…” Shouyou starts, his voice as distant as their thoughts. “I think this is like your name.”

“Yeah. Yeah, something like that.” He reaches to pat Shouyou on the back by instinct, to reassure him, but stops midway. Instead, he rests his hand on Shouyou’s shoulder with care. “It’s… It’s okay. It can get fixed.” 

Shouyou slaps a hand over his mouth to stifle his coughs in vain. 

Takahiro’s never felt quite so helpless before. It… it aches, to watch Shouyou coughing. It aches to see Shouyou in pain. It aches to know his heart aches.

When Shouyou finally stops and pulls his hand from his mouth, there’s two more petals in his palm. “It hurts, senpai.”

“We’ll, uh. We’ll get you a cough drop or something.” 

Shouyou squeezes his eyes shut. His voice is strained when he says, “That’s not how it hurts.”

Takahiro’s not one for hugs, but he doesn’t know what else to do. He takes Shouyou into his arms, letting Shouyou rest his forehead against his chest as he coughs up petals.

*

It’s strange how the world keeps spinning.

The wind whistles through the leaves of the tree he sits under, the footsteps of students passing ringing loud and their chatter even louder, a sea of noise that falls deaf to him.

Shouyou hasn’t been to practice in four days. Probably hasn’t been to his classes, either, Takahiro assumes. They’d always bump into each other between classes. They’d spend their long breaks together, too, taking the hour or two between poorly scheduled classes to grab some food or pass a ball back and forth while chatting. 

The late spring sun is shining the brightest it has all year, but the break alone feels so dark without Shouyou.

It’s all the more dark to think about why Shouyuo’s not around.

Takahiro checks his phone for the umpteenth time. No new messages. He opens a game app, only to spin his character in circles, same as his mind spins. 

Shouyou’s hurting. He’s hurting over someone so deeply that his heart’s become like a rose bush, thorns tearing him up inside and petals choking him. 

Shouyou’s suffering, all because he just wants to be in someone’s arms.

Takahiro closes the app. No new messages. He opens a different game, tapping back and forth aimlessly between menus. 

Shouyou just wants to be held.

Takahiro thinks… maybe he wants to hold Shouyou again. Hold him through his pain. 

Maybe hold him just to hold him.

He closes the app.

One new message. 

_ >> From Oikawa: meet @ mcdonalds _

*

It’s cruel how the world keeps spinning when it feels like Takahiro’s has stopped. 

The fast food diner’s fluorescent lights are too bright, too many neon signs and colors, mocking him with their fabricated cheer when he feels so dull, muted, dismal and disconnected.

How can the world smile on when Shouyou isn’t?

It’s bitter irony that he begrudges everyone’s joy; Takahiro used to pride himself on laughing this sort of thing off.

More like shrugging it off. Denial, not dealing with the crap life gives, waiting for it to go away on its own. 

“Chibi-chan’s talking about getting the surgery,” Tooru says through a mouthful of fries.

“Oh, yeah?” Takahiro replies flatly, using a fry to draw swirls in his ketchup. 

It’s not a surprise; no matter how much Shouyou loves whoever’s on his mind, he loves volleyball more. It’s not even a matter of sensible choice between life and death. 

Takahiro wishes he could laugh about it. Laugh about how it always comes down to the game with Shouyou, how sports drinks flow through his bloodstream and his mind’s been replaced by a  volleyball years ago. 

Instead, he’s stuck on the bittersweet.

On the one hand, it’s… terribly tragic. To forget the one he loves. To dig up the root, to tear out the memories that made Shouyou fall head over heels. 

On the other hand, Shouyou will feel better. He’ll be there again, smiling again, beside Takahiro again.

On that same hand, Takahiro thinks guiltily, Shouyou’s heart will be free again. 

His phone vibrates in his pocket. 

One new message.

_ >> From Hinata: where r u senpai? i want 2 see u  _

*

Hinata’s slightly paler, and just a teensy bit slower than usual as he bounds over to Takahiro from across the courtyard. 

But he’s still bounding, bouncing. Smiling brighter than the sun. “Senpaaai!”

“Hey, Hinata-kun!” Takahiro opens his arms, on an instinct he's never had before, and Shouyou jumps in just as naturally, wrapping his arms around Takahiro's shoulders. Takahiro lifts him up, twirls him around, spins him just like his world is spinning again. 

“You're looking better,” he remarks as he eases Shouyou back onto his feet. “I thought the surgery would take a while.”

“I didn't need the surgery!” Shouyou loosens his grip to rest his hands on Takahiro's shoulders, but he doesn't let go, doesn't pull away. “It went away on its own.”

Takahiro doesn't let go either. “How? I thought it only goes away if…”

Shouyou hides his face against Takahiro’s chest. “If you lov-- like me back!” His arms come around Takahiro’s sides, holding him tightly, face still buried against his shirt. “I stopped coughing, so I went back to the doctor to see if it was safe, and she checked and it was gone and she said that only happens if you start to like me back and I  _ really _ like you and that means--”

“Whoa, whoa, slow down.” Takahiro looks down at the mop of orange hair in disbelief. 

It’s him. It’s Takahiro that Shouyou’s fallen for, it’s Takahiro he loves deeply enough to cough petals, it’s Takahiro he wants to hold him, like he finally is now. 

Takahiro buries his face in Shouyou’s soft hair, embracing him tighter. The world is spinning again, spinning around them, the way it was meant to be. “Yeah. Yeah, I do like you, too.” 


End file.
